...hi. :)

FEAR

We all know that feeling looming behind every turn. That pang at the pit of the stomach. The adrenaline flowing through the body. Facing the unknown, as if staring into a dark abyss and having it stare back -fear. I’ve felt fear before. I’ve been in a few life threatening car accidents where luckily I have escaped from unscathed. I’ve drank enough alcohol for two people only to find out that the only way to recover from that is to get your stomach pumped and an IV to hydrate you back up. None of those are are scary as what I may have yet to face.

For those of you that know me, you know that I can be quite skidish. I’ve said that I’m simply always on edge. For those of you that interact with me, you know that my body has an unusual knack to simply shake. However, my body has always been like that. I didn’t think anything of it.

Well, I had a caring coworker that pushed me to get checked out by a doctor. I was reluctant, but I entertained her. As I sit there talking to the doctor about my reason for coming in for a physical, I place my hands up to show him my shakiness, and he immediately replies with, “That’s a tremor.” I laughed, because it was so quick and sharp. Almost as if he never even spoke, but he did. He encouraged me to continue describing my condition. I tell him how my hands always shake, and when I sit down I have a tendency to tap my feet. He asks me, “can you stop your feet from tapping?” to which I reply, “sure can!” then he procedes to ask, “can you stop your hands from shaking?” and I attempt to stop my hands from shaking, but to no avail. I say, “no.” He says, “your hands shaking are a tremor, and your feet tapping are just a bad habbit.” I laugh again. 

He teaches me more about what a tremor is, and I ask more questions to become more educated. As it turns out a number of different neurological conditions can cause tremors -more infamously known, Parkinsons and MS. My fear and curiosity peak. There is no history of my family members having either of the two conditions. He also explains that it’s very common to have tremors from an over active thyroid problem, but to really get a better understanding of the condition I’d need some tests done and to schedule an appointment with a neurologist.

I’m hoping that it’s not something serious. That it’s not Parkinsons or MS. I’m hoping more for the over active thyroid or maybe something less severe. There aren’t really any cures for tremors and they can get worse with stress. Still, they are treatable to a point to make them manageable. 

Now, my tremors aren’t incontrollable. So that gives me hope, and if it does turn out to be Parkinsons or MS it would be really good to catch it this early on.

Fear of the unknown. Worry. Terms that I’m becoming very familiar with regardless of what my calm exterior may say. However, I am hopeful and thankful for my friend to have encouraged me to go see the doctor.

Just had labs taken today of my blood and learned a few more things about tremors. Now I just have to wait for the results and my appointment with the neurologist.